my feelings. my emotions. that's what makes me special. even though what i feel may sometimes be irrational or unexplainable - it shouldn't matter. what i felt for him was so real. and i would never give up those feelings...even as memories for anything. i have grown so much since we first met. and for that i am so grateful. i learned so much about myself when we were together and even when we were fighting. it might have been the biggest learning experience i have ever had. the way i look at things - all things around me is so different now compared to before. yes. it is. i can't help what i feel and the hardest thing is just accepting that. understanding that there is no way to fight the feeling. no way to stop what i feel.